I am no better and no worse than the next person.
I cannot say that I would never do what so-and-so has done because I am simply not that person. I have not walked in their shoes, I have not grown up in their family or experienced any of the things that have shaped and moulded them into whoever they currently are. So having said that, who’s to say that I would not do exactly what they have done had I been in their shoes?
Please don’t misunderstand, it’s not that I have low self-esteem. I just feel that I have no right to point fingers because whatever screwed up thing someone else has done, I too have probably done it in some form along the way. And if I haven’t, it was only by God’s grace that I have been in a different situation that has allowed me to behave differently.
Let me admit that despite being on earth for 3 decades and trying to live by Christian principles, I still do some pretty messed up things. Just to name a few, in recent times I have lost my temper, hurt people that I love, gossiped, been overly critical of others, have behaved in a manner that has been less than gracious.
As a human, I am flawed. I am not trying to make excuses for myself. What I mean to say is that despite my best intentions, I am invariably going to do some bad/hurtful/stupid things. I apologise in advance for this and ask that as a fellow human bean, you be as empathetic as you can towards me, as I will be towards you. Also, if you feel that I am doing these bad/hurtful/stupid things, please point them out to me so that I might have a chance to reflect, grow and change.
Thank you and God’s grace be with you all the days of your life.
Today my friend was learning to drive so I acted as the quasi-driving instructor.
“Ok, we need to change lanes here. Could you move into the right lane please?”
My friend put her right signal on, checked her blind spot for a couple of seconds, then turned her right signal back off.
“Why didja do that?”
“I saw a car in the lane so I turned off my signal.”
“Uh, but you need to change lanes right?”
“Yeah but when I had my signal on the car slowed down.”
“That’s coz he was giving way to you!”
“Yeah but I wasn’t comfortable that he was there…”
(At that point I was doing an internal face palm. I’m sure my eyeballs were bulging from my face.)
In reflection I asked myself:
How often do I find myself in the situation where I ask God for something, and then through sheer grace have my request granted… only to reject it because it isn’t quite in a form I am comfortable with?